It's been awhile.

I've dated a guy for a month. Broke up with every weekend and got back together every time.

But ended it for good this last weekend.

He claims that I broke his heart. That I'm the only one he wants to talk to. That I'm his best friend. That he wants to change for me. Blah blah blah.

But... I don't believe it.

Yet... I still get the tinge of jealously when I see other girls talking to him even though I don't want him for myself.

Doesn't make sense. But it's how it is.

So... to help remind me why I don't want him for myself, I'm going to make a pro/cons list. Because it's what I do.

Pros:

1. Doesn't drink around me.
2. Likes to hang out with my family.
3. Plays guitar.
4. Says sweet things.

Cons:

1. Drinks when I'm not around.
2. Hangs out with people who hate me, yet don't even know me.
3. Doesn't work.
4. Sold his car without telling me and now drives a piece of crap.
5. Doesn't care about school. NEVER READ A BOOK!
6. Doesn't get along with his family.
7. Talks to other girls all the time.
8. Didn't say hi to my grandma when she passed him on the walking trail. :( poor grandma...
9. Lied to my mom.
10. And shallow stuff like... that annoying white spot on his teeth, his skin...
11. Lives with a girl.
12. Only 18 years old.
13. Doesn't understand my lifestyle... getting up early, working out, working, school, going to bed early, doing something with my life.
14. He plays XBOX.

Well, I'm leaving home today and heading back to reality. It's supposed to blizzard again tommorrow so I have to leave a little earlier than I had planned. Break was so nice though... completely relaxing and fun. And it has been a really long time since I geniunely felt relaxed.

I did most everything I planned on doing this break. Besides going to a movie. But the week long blizzard kind of hindered that. We played tons of games. I read two books. Worked on research occasionally. Had Christmases. Smiled. Laughed. Didn't think about him 24/7. Really, I didn't.

He still occupied a large majority of my thoughts but I didn't really dwell them. He did text me finally last night. I knew he would. But I didn't answer. Wanted to a little bit but I didn't know what I would say. So I just didn't say anything at all.

Got my grocery shopping done last night so I don't have to do that when I get back. Yay.

My rent still hasn't been taken out of my bank account though. That worries me a little bit. Hopefully they didn't discover that I painted my apartment and evict  me haha. For real though. That would suck.

Jim, Kasey, and Wil. They all want to do something this weekend.

Let's see what happens.

Why today was a good day:

1. Made a cute cover for my binder for research. I was incredibly bored.

2. Studied for research a ton and emailed some more questions AND got a response. Woo.

3. Read quite a bit of "Feeling Good"

4. Played more games and watched more movies.... its good.. yes... but... getting kind of old. Snow plow must come soon.

5. Found out that I only need to take ONE honors class this next semester instead of TWO like I thought. Yayyy... such a relief!!